Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Pains of Childbirth

Here are the answers to some questions that you may have had about pregnancy:

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A.. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

The joy of pregnancy and childbirth! Mothers are quick to tell me that those two words don't belong together with the word "joy". And here's a helpful tip (from personal experience) for you fathers. When your wife is in labor and the needle on the graph is showing her contractions, don't ever say, "Is that the highest you can make the needle jump?" At that point, she will not see the humor in the situation. It will only make her angry. (Trust me!)

The Bible refers often to pregnancy and childbirth. But it never speaks of it as a time of joy. Rather, it refers accurately to the "pains of childbirth."

In Romans 8, Paul draws a parallel between what an expectant mother experiences and what we (and all of creation) experience as we await the return of Jesus Christ:

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.....We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." (Romans 8:18,22-23, NIV)

A mother in labor may feel the pain will never end. With what you are going through right now in your life, you may feel the same way. Someday, though, for God's children, the pain will pass and the joy will be greater than we ever imagined. For that day we "wait eagerly"!


  1. Alan, I am getting two of every one of your posts.

  2. Tom,

    Occasionally the server I use sends out duplicate copies in error, but if you are consistently getting two copies, then you likely have two subscriptions ending up in your mailbox. Please forward me both copies you receive of any TFTD ( and I'll sort it out for you.