Friday, May 22, 2009

Loving Someone You Can't Stand

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." 

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me." 

     Unfortunately, we don’t always have the option of avoiding people who irritate, people who hurt us, people who offend us.  In fact, sometimes those who irritate us the most are found right in our home (or in our church building).  So how should we deal with them?

     Milton Jones has written a wonderful book entitled “How to Love Someone You Can’t Stand” which I highly recommend (you can find it at  In this book, Jones lists six godly principles which are derived from Romans 12:

(1)  Manage Your mouth -- Bless and don't curse (Rom. 12:14)

(2)  Put yourself in the other person's place and try to understand their feelings, thoughts and position (Rom. 12:15)

(3)  Never, never, never take revenge (Rom. 12:17)

(4)  Plan ahead to do something beautiful (Rom. 12:17)

(5)  Don't just win the war, win the peace (Rom. 12:18)

(6)  Make room for God (Rom. 12:19)

     The bottom line is that we do not overcome evil with evil by retaliating and seeking to "get even".  The only way to overcome evil is with good (Rom. 12:21).  It is never easy to respond to those who do us wrong in a way that is godly, but it is only by following the example of Jesus Christ that we can truly have an influence on the world around us.

     "But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God.  For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps..." (I Peter 2:19-20)


  1. Alan:

    Really enjoy your e-mails and I save them all. As to this Thought for the Day - I tried to find Milton Jones and "How to Love Someone You Can't Stand" at Amazon. They didn't have any such listing for either the book or the person. Could you re-check your source and see if it's right? Thanks.

  2. It is right. The web site link is:

  3. nice read..thanks for always listening and being a pipe that moves so much water into some dry land

  4. I really enjoy your Thought for the Day... Save all of them.. But I had a computer crash and lost some of them.. would like to have a another copy of Joe's favorit Mule Bessy.. Afraid to speak up.. if you could do this for me.. Thanks again and keep up the good work.. You do a great job.. May God richly bless you in your work..


  5. Charles,

    Send your request to me by way of e-mail ( and I'll be glad to help you out.